I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
