shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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