Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
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I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
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It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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