You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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