why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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