Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
