Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
