Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
