their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
This toilet bowl is my home.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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