i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
