You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
