and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
