you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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