What did we do last night that was yellow?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
