I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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