You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
