so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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