my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
