saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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