He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Still dying that you shit outside
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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