I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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