He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
