just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
