My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
