I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize