It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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