Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
