I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
