is your mom at the bar?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The struggles of a small town man whore
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize