dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
