'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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