Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize