Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
