If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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