I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
