just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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