Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
whose parrot is this?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I forget how to act sober
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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