Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
