She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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