yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
