If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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