Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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