If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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