Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
