After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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