the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
