i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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