Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
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