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• (913): View more from Kansas

  i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  i think im in thre room next to you

  Fav 28 2438 886

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.

  Fav 25 1499 2859

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I sold my books for weed money!

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Finals don't start for a week...

  Fav 19 4380 2847

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.

  Fav 15 5429 1095

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  it's not cheating when I paid for it

  Fav 67 1838 5705

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis

  Fav 8 1191 4234

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won

  Fav 30 13942 1497

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.

  Fav 16 5169 1255

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war

  Fav 12 4392 1145

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk

  Fav 1 1461 760

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's a mixed blessing.

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• (914): View more from New York

  The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse

  Fav 5 1014 616

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.

  Fav 1 55 26

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer

  Fav 0 62 10

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• (212): View more from New York

  I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.

  Fav 0 75 23

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