I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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