Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
