If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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