I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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