So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
as a side note pls kill me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
