Its about making memories worth repressing
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
