I think scott just propositioned me for sex
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
