Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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