i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
