Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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