Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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