Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
