this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize