I heard we made out
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
