hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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